Is there a best way to deliver feedback?
You will know, that having to give feedback to a staff member can be stressful, particularly when it is of the corrective variety.
Unsurprisingly, without training, practice and experience, this so-called management 101 requirement is fraught with unforeseen responses and/or emotion, which in turn results in short and sometimes, long lasting unease between parties.
I can almost feel you squirming [as I did] whilst you relive some of your own most memorable examples of clumsy, awful feedback sessions - sustained either as the giver of feedback or the recipient!
However, a quick Google search will tell you that giving [and receiving] feedback is a vital management skill, one which leaders need to get better at. Why? Because you’ll end up having to do it at some point, whether you want to or not - avoidance is futile!
The three I want to focus on, that we use and recommend, are:
- SPIKES
- Feedforward
- SBI
Keep reading [see below], for an explanation of each, some examples and templates/worksheet you can use.
In our work, leaders often bring staff performance challenges into the conversation – particularly those that have evolved into significant problems, typically because they [or the previous leader] didn’t provide feedback on something early on. In some cases the staff member concerned has languished for several months and years sometimes, either blissfully unaware of their shortcomings in the role, or aware, but not feeling the need to make any change.
Things inevitably come to a head and when they do, it can end up taking several people enormous amounts of management and HR time, energy and dollars.
During these times we typically ask: “What conversation are you avoiding?” And, if you think we’re talking about managers in lower ranks having this problem – may I invite you to think again!
We notice 3 recurring reasons why feedback doesn’t happen either well, or at all.
1.It’s difficult as mentioned: Leaders are humans. And, as humans, we are programmed to move towards pleasure and away from pain. Giving feedback, can be a form of torture!
2.There’s not enough time [excuse # 1] “ I want to do it well, and I’m back to back – I’ll do it in the one on one next week…"
Then the one on one gets cancelled for some reason, then the conversation doesn’t happen at all, because the window of opportunity has closed.
3.It’s not the right time [excuse #2] “Even though they’re not right for the role long term/not performing etc, I still need this person on this project. Better to have somebody in the seat than no one right now”.
OR: “The team is stretched” OR “People are feeling a bit isolated - we need to keep some harmony in the team”.
Victor Lipman, Forbes writer on Leadership says there’s a 4th reason feedback doesn’t occur. He says that it’s an explanation heard least often, but argues, it’s the one that’s closest to the heart of the matter: Weaknesses in the organisation’s management selection and developmental training.
What I’ve noticed when receiving feedback from bosses in the past and indeed, what we see with our leaders we work with, is that there are typically two approaches:
Or:
The Indirect, Avoidant camp: unclear, muddled and mixed message.
The Direct [and sometimes Brutal Camp] looks like this:
“I’ve got some bad news: you’re not getting a bonus this year” OR “ You were unsuccessful in the interview process and the Board has decided to go with the external candidate”.
The Indirect, Avoidant camp looks like this:
“I know you’ve been acting in the role for 6 months, and we’ve been really impressed at your contribution and your willingness to step up, tackle that really difficult project with the vendor, handle those redundancies etc, and you made a great case in the interview [blah, blah, blah], BUT [love that one!] the Board has decided to go with an external candidate”
We see variations on these themes but either can negatively impact the ongoing relationship, trust and productivity of that person.
Someone who’s of a sympathetic disposition will feel responsible when giving the above feedback but they may / may not say so: Perhaps they over-promised or didn't manage expectations at the outset. Then, rather than own it, they lose all credibility when they blame in on the Board for example, or the economy and [currently] COVID-19, thereby, making the whole thing much worse than it needed to be.
It’s hard to get it right of course. Getting the balance between empathy and straight talking, being authentic and staying ‘in relationship’ with the individual, takes a lot of self-reflection, maturity, courage and like anything else that’s difficult - practice.
We have used several techniques and models in our team & individual coaching sessions. Some we’ve crafted ourselves and some we’ve taken from leadership research houses like: the SBI model [Situation, Behaviour, Impact] from CCL.Org and FeedForward, from Marshall Goldsmith - a very useful approach which we use to help leaders solicit input and insights from key stakeholders.
Leaders takenote: FeedForward is particularly useful following 360s or 3rd party interviews. It is a clever, future focused way of helping leaders to get clarity post a 360 survey. See link below for further details and a worksheet on this method.
Another technique we’ve used in our work with teams and leaders is called SPIKES. It is a contemporary feedback approach developed by oncologists and doctors – those that regularly give bad news to their patients, and which guides doctors through difficult conversations with patients. The technique emphasises empathy and translates well to an office environment.
We have found that the SPIKES technique offers a flexible approach that allows for a leaders’ own style, approach and personality to emerge, whilst helping them slow down, prepare and develop their skill in giving feedback. Atlassian utilises SPIKES in their business and you'll find a great explanation and article they've written on how to apply it here.
I also like that it invites the other person time to express themselves, requiring the leader to stay in the conversation and therefore ‘in relationship’ with that person. It becomes something that is an exchange, rather than only something that is one sided.
Get in touch if you are interested in building your capability with our skills training in Feedback.
About the author
Jacqui Ferris is a respected Executive & Team Coach, with over 20 years’ organisational experience, working in organisations across Australia and New Zealand.
Her key focus areas include coaching senior leaders and teams to create a shared focus and undertaking, which in turn creates value for their organisations, and stakeholders.
Jacqui is the Managing Director of PHQ. She and her colleagues design, deliver and embed tailored individual & leader development programs for organisations.