The Top Signs That Your Team Is Leading You
As I write this, restrictions in NSW are lifting. However, I’m sure I’m not alone in wondering how our future working life will look. Many of us have never experienced disruption like this, especially on such a global scale.
A friend described it like sailing on a ship with nothing but sea for miles and the land you thought you were heading for remains out of sight. After a year and half in this transitional space, we’re now learning that the shore we set out from has changed forever and the destination is still unknown.
In our work with teams, we’ve realised that this change has required both our clients and us to learn and establish new ways of leveraging the power, purpose and potential of teams.
However, we’ve also noticed that in an effort to be supportive, show compassion and engage in more servant leadership development programs, it seems leaders have lost some of their right to lead. This is not entirely due to the pandemic and its impact, it’s also part of being a leader in the 2020s.
The impact of the virtual world on team leaders
Nevertheless, we hear from our clients [both senior leaders and team members], how much more isolated they feel when they work solely from home, even from those who have enjoyed the flexibility.
Over the last 18 months we have learned that a lot of things in business can be done virtually, and quite well actually. At the same time, getting a team working well together and keeping them honed and performing over time is challenging at the best of times and especially so during lockdowns and hybrid scenarios. Along with increased focus on wellbeing, resilience and the expectation that leaders be tuned in to the support required from them, some leaders are feeling understandably overwhelmed.
What we notice
When coaching teams, we sometimes see leaders step too early into crucial conversations that the team needs to have with each other. Or they jump in to solve problems, which the team needs to solve itself. Recently we’re seeing something else emerge – a leader who is not stepping in soon enough – essentially not leading.
It’s a tough call on leaders – you want to empower, but then things go awry! But if you find yourself not stepping in, more often than not you can run the risk of your team leading you.
So below we’ve listed the top signs to look out for and some reflective questions to think about as well.
The top 4 signs that your team is leading you
1. Team members upward delegating
Have you caught yourself getting into the detail of something, taking hours of management time, doing the work or the re-work of one of your team?
Or perhaps you run on the 12-14 hour-a-day treadmill without critically looking at what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.
Or maybe you know on some level that you are doing someone else’s work because it’ll get done faster, easier, more accurately and you don’t have the time to coach and performance direct.
If any of these scenarios resonate, it may be that team members are ‘upward delegating’ and, as such, you’re enabling lack of performance and capability uplift, and possibly avoiding a performance development discussion.
We see this happening at all levels in teams.
Reflection:
Notice what comes up for you if you sense you should be stepping in and you don’t. Or when you allow way more discussion on an issue than is warranted i.e. allow a 'we discuss/we decide' versus a ‘we discuss/I decide’ decision in order to move things forward. See the PHQ Decision Making Model.
Where do you feel it in your body?
What's causing you to hesitate?
- What question might you pose to move things along/bring things to a head?
2. Poor performance & / or behaviour left unchecked
Closely linked to point 1 is when a team member remains in their role unchallenged, whilst demonstrating a sustained and ongoing lack of performance and /or where unreasonable behaviour is directed towards you as the leader or another staff member.
The cost of workplace aggression is said to amount to around $3 billion annually in Australia [1]. Behaviour including raised voices, yelling, swearing, throwing, harassment etc., would have resulted in instant dismissal not so long ago. Not so now. It’s the leader’s job to be concerned as to the issues underlying the event, particularly during this pandemic time. And it’s an important part of being a leader in today’s organisations – no question.
However, aggression/passive aggression, or emotive outbursts are inappropriate in the workplace, no matter what the reason, and will likely result in a bullying claim from the receiver if left unchecked – so dealing with this appropriately is critical.
[For more info on this, check out the 4 primary causes of workplace anger]
What we notice is that poor performance can link to frustration and poor behaviour, as well as the other way around. When a leader or team members are subject to an aggressive outburst, it’s important to provide support, but what happens after that?
As a CEO said to us recently: “My leaders are feeling bullied by the wellbeing focus required of them. They’re scared to do any performance management at all!”
Reflection
Can you identify what crucial conversations you’re not having and with whom?
Who or what might you be concerned about that’s causing you to hesitate /make excuses /avoid conflict – can you test the validity of those excuses and that hesitation?
What replacement activity are you engaging in instead of leading and managing the team?
3. Letting 1:1 meetings slide, cancelling and rescheduling
When your people cancel or reschedule their 1:1 meetings with you [or you cancel theirs!] it will likely be to deal with an urgent client issue or something of that ilk. When they don’t get rescheduled within the week, it leaves you both without that important time where you can check in, give recently observed feedback and have the how-are-you/we doing? conversation.
You get a well-needed hour back in your day, but when these meetings aren’t prioritised, it means a void can open up between you and that team member. So, it’s up to you as the Team Leader to prioritise them.
If you suspect team members are distancing themselves from you in this way – they may be leading you.
Reflection:
- How often do team members cancel / reschedule their one on ones with less than plausible reasons?
- How often do you as their leader do the same?
- How often do you or they turn up late/leave early, reduce the 55 mins down to 25 for example? Do you see this more with some team members or others?
- Do you have people in the team whose 1: 1 meetings you enjoy and some you don’t? And if those meetings are cancelled, do you secretly breathe a sigh of relief?
- Are you kidding yourself with any of the above or more?
4. Team members being out of relationship with others
Do you have any team members that think it’s ok to have ‘unresolvable’ relationship breakdowns with colleagues, such that you’re forced to manage them separately and almost keep them apart to keep the peace? If this is happening, those team members are definitely leading you!
We see this happen routinely when working with teams, even at executive level. The leader feels like a parent sorting out warring factions between siblings!
It can stem from lack of clear boundaries and the leader not holding firm expectations that have been discussed and agreed on team behaviours - or worse, not having such discussions in the first place.
Then again, we might see leaders ‘let their people off the hook’ on agreed behaviours, which might keep [false] harmony for a while, but at what cost? Normally at the expense of delivering results for customers and stakeholders.
If you have people who don’t get on and who’ve pretty much said you should sack the other, consider the following questions:
Reflection
- What are you doing /saying, or conversely, not doing or saying that means these team members are quite happy to tell you what you should be doing – i.e.: what is your contribution to this status quo?
Can you identify what crucial conversations you’re not having and with whom?
Who or what might you be concerned about that’s causing you to hesitate /make excuses /avoid conflict – can you test the validity of those excuses and that hesitation?
Look around you: who can help you that you've not yet reached out to?
Being a leader is the hardest job you’ll ever do, second to being a parent. And if you’re sans children it is definitely the hardest thing you’ll do – especially at this time in the world.
If you're interested in finding out more about how executive and/or team coaching can support you, book in a 15 min call with me.
Till then, our best wishes go out to you, your teams and your families.
Jacqui + the team at PHQ
References:
[1] Overt and Covert Aggression and Negative Emotion in the Workplace
About the Author
Jacqui Ferris is a respected Executive & Team Coach, with over 20 years’ organisational experience, working in organisations across Australia and New Zealand.
Her key focus areas include coaching senior leaders and teams to create a shared focus and undertaking, which in turn creates value for their organisations, and stakeholders.
Jacqui is the Managing Director of PHQ. She and her colleagues design, deliver and embed tailored individual & leader development programs for organisations.